Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
