Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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