I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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