Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he thought i was a dude.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize