WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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