Non-Jews are for practice
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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