One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
foreskin is a definite game changer
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
