If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
