I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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