hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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