Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize