Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
