my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize