You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
