Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
