he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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