This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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