Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
