If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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