Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
