walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
