i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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