we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
