Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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