my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My dick has a subreddit
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
