I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
