Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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