I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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