This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I want to walk on stilts...naked
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
