i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize