Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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