someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
