I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
