May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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