I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
