bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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