I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
