it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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