carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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