She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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