i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
