also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
