pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
