I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
