dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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