Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
