Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
