bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
