ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
