He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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