he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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