What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
