The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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