She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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