My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize