He disabled his match.com account in front of me
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
